Over the Moon

image by A78

The Freemasons prided themselves on embodying the ideals of the Enlightenment, claiming to be benevolent do-gooders. Yet history has found them hated and feared time and time again. Autocratic kings and fascistic regimes alike condemn their secrecy and subversive ways; Britons gripe about the corrupt political and judicial influence the group has wielded in collusion with the Royal family; religious groups, especially Catholics and evangelical Christians, routinely indict the Masons as being part of a Satanic conspiracy; secular conspiracists say the Freemasons seek to bring about the New World Order.

Inside the Grand Masonic Lodge, circa unknown

Which then leads us to the Mother Superior of secret societies: the Bilderberg Group. This clandestine cabal of royal leaders, political power brokers, industrial titans, and media magnates meets every 4 years to calibrate the world itinerary—conspiring to orchestrate everything from the war on Iraq to hikes on oil prices to the Trans Texas Corridor. That is, if you believe the conspiracists. But, I mean, members from both the Rockefellar and Rothchild families are perennial attendees. Doesn’t that fact alone prove something insidious is going on? Can I get a witness??

The basic plot behind the New World Order is that a group of elite masterminds is slowly but irrevocably centralizing power by carving the regions of the world into unions: the European Union, another post-WW2 League of Nations creation; the North American Union, consisting of the US, Canada, and Mexico, which is noodling ever closer to finalization; and eventually the Asian and African Unions. The purpose behind these mergers is to break down national borders and make the world’s populations subject to international law. The masterminds behind it all—the Bilderbergs, the Freemasons, the Illuminati, the Rockefellars and Rothchilds, the CEO’s of Taco Bell and Subway—ultimately seek to reduce the Earth’s population to somewhere around 500 million. This will allow them to more effectively control the infrastructure of the planet.

In the meantime, they must keep the masses preoccupied, ignorant and innocuous. So they brainwash and poison us into subservience by spraying our skies with chemtrails, fluoridizing our water and toothpaste, and wilting our minds with pills and advertising.

Now, let’s face it, mind control on the scale of 6 billion is hard work, so to let off steam once a year the elite masterminds convene at the Bohemian Grove to get drunk, worship Satan, and piss on redwoods. They get to squeeze in some R&R while they take over the world.

Conspiracists who champion the the New World Order theory in its many permutations range from Zeitgeist left to right wing conservative televangelists and libertarians, such as Pat Robertson and Alex Jones. Even futurist Ray Kurzweil buys into the idea of a one-world government, albeit in the form of an advanced technocracy.

Notably, many of the New World Order theories are suspicious of and outright hostile to Jews. The anti-Semitic bent, while certainly owing to mankind’s historical legacy of Jewish oppression, may also have something to do with the heavy religious undertones, as the New World Order seems to represent the inception of the Christian apocalypse. Now, many evangelicals are supportive of Jews, as manifested by their obsessive nurturing of Israel, the latter being ground zero for the second coming of Christ, which, incidentally, might well be the oldest and wackiest conspiracy theory of them all.

-Jake Anderson